Sweet 16 - Reversed
by Rehana Shafiqullah

I turned sweet 16 yesterday. Sweet 16 reversed, that is. And I had a simple celebration with my good friends. And this simplicity made the day more important and special - which is the real lesson of my reversed "sweet 16" birthday.

The night before my birthday, I went to a posh social gathering. The dinner was fabulous. Our hostess had done us such honour, almost as if we were royalty. And the food was so delicious, I wished I had an extra stomach, to be able to taste everything!

And at the dinner, I took the chance to invite my close friends to my birthday lunch the next day. This are my special, closest friends – the–"G-8", my husband calls us.

But, now the problem struck! How could I possibly match the dinner and the experience of the night before? It was impossible! And taking everyone out to lunch was too impersonal.

So, instead of trying to match the previous night’s dinner, I would do something completely different. I decided to keep it simple. Just a few dishes, a beef "Nihari" and a simple chicken dish.

My simple celebration worked beautifully. And my friends all contributed to one special gift. Our buying of the gift even became part of the celebration itself. We talked and laughed like school girls. With a bit of birthday cake, we had a wonderful end to a wonderful day.

The point of this story is that we have left behind our laughter and ability to enjoy ourselves simply. We did it as kids. Why can’t we do it again?

For example, why have a dozen dishes at a dinner party? This is much, much more than most people want. The ladies hardly eat, the men have too much to drink, and the hour becomes so late that everyone loses their appetite. And the hostess spends her time supervising this extravagant spread, rather than having the time to enjoy her guests. And the money and time involved! So much is wasted….

This was captured for me recently when a friend turned to me at an expensive dinner to say, "You remember when we first met ten years ago in our small two bedroom apartment? We were much happier then."

Let’s all think about this – wouldn’t we be happier with less extravagance and more simple ways of entertaining and living? Wouldn’t this remind us of what is really important? And wouldn’t this also be a better approach in a place like Dhaka, where we are reminded daily of the many who have very little?

So, what can we do? It’s simple. We make choices every day – let’s make each of these a bit simpler. Fewer dishes at dinners. Buying less expensive items for the house. The list goes on and on. And if you can save a bit of money through these very small denials, think of the good you can do. Perhaps to educate a poor child? Or to contribute to a slum development effort. The needs are endless – but we can make a start, each in our own way. As the doctor in ‘The City of Joy’ says, with poverty we have the choice to turn away, or to do something about it.

As for me, my "Sweet 16" reversed celebration reminded me of the value and joy of living more simply"– and of the value of friends and family.