Article

contributed by Reena Abraham

Instructions, Weird and Wonderful

  ON A KITCHEN KNIFE: Warning: keep out of children.  
  ON A HAIR DRYER: Do not use while sleeping.  
  ON A BAG OF FRITOS: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
  ON A BAR OF DIAL SOAP: Directions: Use like regular soap.
  ON A FROZEN DINNER: Serving suggestion: Defrost.
  ON A HOTEL-PROVIDED SHOWER CAP: Fits one head.
  ON A SUPERMARKET TIRAMISU DESERT: Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the box.)
  ON A SUPERMARKET BREAD PUDDING: Product will be hot after heating.
  ON PACKAGING ON A IRON: Do not iron clothes on body.
  ON A CHILDRENS' COUGH MEDICINE: Do not drive car or operate machinery.
  ON NYTOL (A SLEEP AID): Warning: may cause drowsiness.
  ON A STRING OF CHRISTMAS LIGHTS: For indoor or outdoor use only.
  ON A FOOD PROCESSOR: Not to be used for the other use.
  ON A PACK OF PEANUTS: Warning: contains nuts.
  ON AN AIRLINE PACKET OF NUTS: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
  ON A CHAINSAW: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.