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Changes
Physical changes are
the most obvious. Hormones are rushing to create new feelings that
children may not know how to handle. Adolescents are trying to determine
how they should react to others and to situations in life. They will make
many mistakes in judgement that will need a response from parents.
Finding an identity
This search will be
a focus of many of the decisions of adolescents. Adolescents need the
freedom to make decisions with their parents’ support. Such areas as types
of clothes, hair styles and other trends are important to adolescents to
separate them from the look of their parents. To be a successful parent of
an adolescent, adults need to begin to give freedom to their growing
children. A helpful book, Promises to Peter, by Charles Shedd gives a plan
for slowly giving children more freedom so that by the time they are ready
to leave home, they are able to make mature decisions.
Sexuality
Adolescents are
developing quickly in that area and parents can be a source of information
and support. Open channels of communication will encourage the adolescent
to discuss an area that may be taboo in some homes. Teens may turn to
other, less reliable sources. |
The “personal fable”
Teens believe that nothing bad can happen to them; e.g. they can drink and
drive, speed, use drugs, be sexually active and there will be no bad
consequences. Parents can help their adolescent by standing by them, even
when they make bad choices, to help them make better choices in the
future.
The “imaginary
audience”
Everyone is looking at them and talking about them, so adolescents try to
do nothing that will make them different or stand out. Their peer group
has such a strong influence on them and parents should know their teens’
friends.
Approval and
disapproval
It is important for an adolescents’ development that they not receive
approval on every behavior from their parents. They need that process of
breaking away from their parents emotionally. But, adolescents make
mistakes and poor choices, and they need their parents’ support when they
do. So, it is important for parents to approve of their teen, even if they
disapprove of their behavior.
Parents need to keep
the relationship alive, and open communication is one key. If they can do
this, both teen and parent can come on the other side of these years with
a positive, healthy relationship. |